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Monitoring every e-mail, sitting in on every chat and checking web access logs is not the way, certainly for the over-10s.

While there are significant benefits to being online and to using the resources available on the net, the balance between these benefits and the dangers needs to be better understood, and a new understanding is required.

Young and foolish, 12-year old Shevaun Pennington found a friend online and decided that what he had to offer was more exciting than the boys in school.

We can restrict their access, or install safety software, but our kids also need space to grow up, privacy from even their parents, and a sense that they are trusted.

Consider the following statement from a 41-year-old married man (all citations are from to cheat—something that may even add spice to their offline relationship.

These people believe that if they do not even know the real name of their cybermate—and never actually see them—their affair cannot be regarded as from a moral point of view; it's no different from reading a novel or other form of entertainment.

Indeed, people consider cybersex to have a high degree of psychological reality—but many do not consider it to be consider it to be infidelity.

Many of them believe cybersex to be similar to pornography—an extension of fantasy that actually helps to keep them from physical affairs with other people.